Well. summer's officially over, I've said my goodbyes to my sweet friends in Marietta, and embraced and reunited with long lost covenant friends. I'm back up on this beautiful mountain, survived soccer pre-season, and classes began last week. I'm back on 3C in room 358 with my three wonderful roomates: Aften, Grace, and Rachael. We've managed to make our dorm a home and I'm really enjoying living with these three ladies. I'm loving intro to teaching and youth ministry, and really looking forward to getting reconnected with my junior high girls at Lookout Mountain Pres.
As much as I love it here, I want so badly to be in other places. I've never been one to enjoy school much and my anxious heart tends to find the school year a difficult time to trust Jesus. Here I am, coming back from such a challenging but wonderful summer--one in which I saw the Lord work in beautiful ways, beyond what I could ask or imagine. A month later, and I still find myself spending many days wishing I was in Marietta with the little girls (and annie, duh.) or missing my sweet friends and family in Florida. Looking back over this summer, I struggle to see what the Lord could possibly have for me here. (but then again, He does have a tendency to surprise me!) Being the ungrateful sinner that I am, so often, I find that I am simply unsatisfied in the places that the Lord puts me. I catch myself everyday wishing I was somewhere else, missing someone new, and making up my mind that my plans are better than His.
This constant wishing to be places I am not, is without a doubt, a sure sign of my longing for heaven. And for the time that I am on earth, it is evidence of my unwillingness to be satisfied by my creator. Again and again, the Lord has been taking me back to Psalm 23 "The lord is my shepherd, I shall not want." OH BUT THIS GIRL WANTS. I want to be somewhere else. I feel like school is pointless, I long for my friendships back at home, I struggle to understand my purpose here, its difficult to love. but the most beautiful thing, is that I don't have to want. Jesus tells me that I don't need to want. I wasn't created to want. why? Because of that simple truth: HE is my shepherd; because he promise that he will satisfy my deepest longings, he will feed my hunger, he will give me rest and he will put me in places that he knows are good.
i am trusting.
