you are for me.

A year ago today marks the first day of this very hard year. For this reason, yesterday I got in my car, drove 'til Roswell Rd ends, parked my car, and hiked to a waterfall. alone. I sat at the waterfall (i looked like the biggest weirdo...am i proud of it? hmm, maybe.) with my bible and journal in hand. Two hours FLEW by before I even looked at my watch and realized I needed to go home. During those two hours I read. i prayed. i thought. i cried. I can't believe a year has gone by since ben and I broke up and I can't even begin to realize all the different ways that the breakup spilled over and effected different areas of my life and opened my eyes to other broken areas that I didn't want to admit. It's hard to say, but even a year later, i feel that the Lord is still stripping, ripping, breaking...rebuilding, restoring, rescuing. I look back over this year and I see that I am still learning that HIS timing is best. but above all else, I know that my father is fighting for me; not against me.

The night before I went to the waterfall, I was thinking over the past year. I pulled out my journal and this is what I wrote:


I cannot be moved. you are my hope. so faithful. always pursuing; always loving me. you give me hope for the future. I am broken...but you heal me each day. redeemer. restorer. rescuer. powerful. mighty. strong. always holding me close to your heart. my name is written on your hands. you understand my pain; you get my every move. so consistant. you protect me. you break down, tear apart, claw through...to make me more like you. I am loved; with an everlasting love. you promise to rebuild me; you promise i will be filled with joy again. you hear my cry for help. you protect me. you hold me close. you work for my good. you have saved me; and you can do it again. i am weak...but you are strong. your love never fails; your love is perfect. you are patient. you are for me. you are gentle and vicious. you love me deeplu. you have not left me. you wisper truth. so constant. you show me love. even when i run; you chase me. you never let go of me. you came down to show me love. you do not change, you cann't be shaken. you make me brave and strong. you see the depths of my heart ( and still love me!). you love me...that's why you say no. you are my shepherd; you know me more than anyone else. father. king. best friend. you will fulfill your purpose for my life. you are close when i am hurting. you are my peace and joy. you are my hiding place. you remind me of your promises. you teach me to love and forgive; and be forgiven. you know what I need most. you fill me up. you know weaknesses. you give me much to be thankful for. you are my hope and defense. you fight the battle for me.

these are the things that God has taught me about himself this year.
HOW BEAUTIFUL.
can i get an amen?